Arranging children’s Christmas holiday contact between separated parents

The Christmas holiday season is a busy, yet important, period for families, particularly if parents still have dependent children.

For parents who are separated, this can also be a very stressful time. Trying to put in place arrangements over the Christmas period that work for both parents and the children can be challenging.

Louise Daniel, a family law solicitor at WHN’s Haslingden office, explores how the Christmas holiday period can be amicably shared between separated parents.

Parents naturally want what is best for their children, but may sometimes find it difficult to appreciate that their ex-partner, the children’s other parent, may feel the same. They will want to also spend quality time with their children over Christmas.

Focusing on the children’s best interest

While there is no prescribed formula to resolve this issue, any court looking at a Private Law Children Act case will be guided by the paramount principal of the Children Act 1989 which considers each case on the basis of what is in the children’s best interests.

Unless there is a good reason why children should not spend time with both their parents, the starting point to sharing Christmas holidays is to try and achieve a fair or reasonable division of the holidays and special days. The difficulty is often in working out the details.

The option of alternating arrangements for Christmas

It is not unusual for separated couples to divide the arrangements for Christmas Day and alternate arrangements each year. This ensures that both parents can enjoy the same festivities with the children.

This, for example, may entail that one year the children will be with one parent on Christmas Eve, and will wake up in their care on Christmas Day, spend the morning with that parent and then spend time with their other parent from perhaps mid-afternoon, overnight and throughout Boxing Day.

The arrangement would then be reversed the following year.

Given the Christmas school holidays are usually two weeks, it is then for the parents to try and agree an equal share of the balance of the time but necessarily factoring in any existing contact arrangements, or other issues such as those detailed below.

Working together for the children’s benefit

Even when suitable arrangements can be agreed, consideration needs to be given to both parties including their working commitments and transport arrangements. It is also important to agree exact times for the changeover.

For older children, it is important to take into consideration that they may have additional social plans in place with their friends to factor into any arrangements. If you live a long way from your ex-partner, you may also need to consider contingency plans if bad weather makes travel difficult or impossible.

If an agreement can be reached, it is a good idea to confirm the position in writing with both parents signing to confirm their agreement so that matters are clear for everyone.

Children are more likely to adjust to matters well when they can see their parents working together for their benefit.

What to do if an agreement cannot be reached for Christmas arrangements?

Considering matters in good time before the Christmas holidays should help remove any urgency from entering into discussions.

It is appreciated that often despite best efforts, it is not always possible for separated parent to reach an agreement without some form of outside advice and assistance. While mediation is one option, for parents to consider, many parents will seek advice from family law solicitors.

Taking a case to the court may sometimes be necessary, but more often matters relating to holiday arrangements can be resolved without the need for time-consuming or costly court litigation.

Children are more likely to benefit from being able to spend time with both parents on special occasions such as Christmas Day and solicitors can assist in endeavouring to broker an agreement between the parents, if necessary. If a more formal agreement is required, the earlier discussions can begin, the more likely a mutual agreement can be made that ensures both parents feel it is fair.

In most families, children who have separated parents who work together and put their children’s interests first, get to enjoy each Christmas twice, and both with a loving parent.

Further information regarding making arrangements for other holiday periods can be found in Louise’s blog post: What are my options for agreeing school holiday arrangements with my ex-partner?

Louise Daniel has over 25 years’ experience advising clients on separation, divorce, financial and children’s cases. Should you wish to seek advice regarding Christmas holiday arrangements or any other family-related matter, please call Louise on 01706 213356 or by emailing your contact details to [email protected].